Below is my current pump up song. It’s from the Blue Crush soundtrack, a cinematic experience to be reckoned with. You should listen to it while you read this to really understand how I’m feeling in this very moment. Also because Nikki Costa needs more recognition, and also just because it’s a very inspiring song. Almost as inspiring as Blue Crush.
Tomorrow afternoon I’m getting on a plane to start my one way journey to Toronto. The centre of the universe, as it were. A Canadian city that actually made it to real city status. New York but in Canada. The six. Drake. Crackhead mayor. From what I gather everyone in Toronto thinks they’re the one. Which, if you know me well enough, you know I’ve always blindly assumed I am. I’ve been told I’ll fit right in. I was also told that on my first day of kindergarden and we all know how that ended, so people have been wrong before. Let’s hope for the best.
I’ve lived in Vancouver for my entire life. This city has taught me most of what I know about life so far, which is a blessing and a curse. I know Vancouver like the back of my hand- I could tell you where to go and what to do at any given moment. I made small talk with the mayor once. I’m friends with all the local hobos. It’s my city. But being here my whole life has also limited my experience of the world, which is the sole reason I’m moving to Toronto.
I’m kind of a nutcase when it comes to fulfilling my human experience. I’m not opposed to acting like a crazy person (acting?) just to make things more fun or get some kind for reaction out of my life. I think that’s important- to be a little crazy. I booked my flight to Toronto right in the middle of a mental breakdown and nothing has ever felt more right to me. I’m excited to feel out an entirely new side of life, but I’m also so grateful for all the experiences I’ve already had here. I’m blessed to have finally figured out who I am thanks to the people I’ve been surrounded by and everything I’ve been taught and given. So far.
This is my new chapter, but it’s not a fresh start. I’m taking with me all the love and joy and pain and amazingness and bullshit that I’ve aquired in my life. Those things, the great and terrible, are what made me realize I’m capable of moving to a new city by myself just to make shit happen.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be struggling as fuck for a while. I will definitely call a few of you crying, but I’ve never been more ready to dive right into life.
So here we are, on my official public diary. On this brand spankin’ new website that has my name on it and is owned by me. Whatchu know about being a narcissistic but fiercely independent lady?